Is this chick for real?

Anytime I find a blog I like, one of the first things I do is scope out the “About Me” page. I want to know who the hell I’m reading about and why they think they have the right to write a blog and expect me to read it. Obviously you do, too.

I’ve had to update this page, because when I started the blog I was up to my ears in full-time hours of writing sales proposals for a major financial institution. Now, I’m blessed enough to stay at home with my two children, blog, sometimes clean, often not, read, and do a minimal amount of freelance writing.

This blog was initially a Christmas present to The Husband. The more I write the less I talk and the less I talk the less he has to pretend to be interested in things like my plans to rescue the children should the nearby military base ever be invaded by aliens or terrorists. The less he has to pretend, the greater his overall life satisfaction. Win-win.

When I worked in corporate America, I used to love happy hour. Loved it. For the cute martinis that were like a grown-up gold star for surviving the day, and definitely for the socializing. Happy hour is no longer realistic for me, so I come here to tell the stories that I would have told if I were lucky enough to be chatting with you in a bar. It’s a kind of delusional therapy for a mom who doesn’t usually talk to an adult all.day.long.

Some things to note:

• I love the words And, Like, But, Yeah, So, and Whatever. I use them liberally. I know the result makes me sound like a teenager. I’m okay with that. I also like fragments, run-on sentences, ellipses, parentheses, and pina coladas. (Not really.) (Okay, really.)
• I also really like the F bomb and other colorful four letter words. (Consider yourself warned.) I have a friend who once called me the Christian who cusses. I’m working on it. I can’t use bad words in front of my kids, so I use them here instead. If that offends you I’m really sorry, and be sure not to follow me on Twitter. If it doesn’t offend you…go find me on Twitter.
• I desperately want to participate in a flash mob.
• I like to give people nicknames. I realize this is confusing. I can barely keep the people in my life straight, so I’m sure you can’t, either. I try to reference them clearly, but I’ve included a cheat sheet under the People page in the likely event I lose you.
• I just had a baby. So if you see me and think I’m fat you’re an asshole.
• You probably could care less about what TV shows I like. That’s cool. I think you’re boring, too. But I do make some references to TV shows, just note that due to Netflix Instant Queue and a notable lack of patience, I usually watch them a few years behind. Don’t spoil anything for me.
• That’s it. This isn’t eharmony, and if you’re reading this you probably know everything about me because you’re probably my Mom. In which case…sorry for the potty mouth. And I love you. And I’ll bring the kids to see you soon.